frayedheartbeat

So exams are long over and the after exam events fly past one after another. Post school life has been a blur and yet it is regrettable that he has, due to the lack of time allocated to each individual (which he thinks is a horrid excuse but shall use it for he cannot think of any other at the moment), not been able to spend as much time with his old friends as he would have liked. But then again, life has been most blissful and the bountiful blessings he has received the past weeks cannot be replicated under any other circumstances, of which he shall reveal in the near future.

But of most pressing importance is the very issue which has brought him here to the much neglected virtual paper (certainly would have grown mould had it been in real life he suppose), which is the examination of the conflict with regards to the issue of "You'll Give What You'll Get vs You'll Get What You'll Give". Firstly, in exploring this question, the scope shall be defined by him as the dissection of thoughts of whether the end product matters more to the human than the journey (Yes he knows the title not seems like it is probably an over complicated bull-crap but just bear with it).

-You'll Give What You'll Get
In our modern world, society believes that the product should be the priority of every individual who is worthy of being called a member of a superior order. Picture this, the goal of the pre-schooler is to get ten out of ten for his spelling test, the goal of the primary school student is to get into the top secondary school, the goal of the secondary school student is to get into the top junior college, the goal of the junior college student is to get a scholarship at a prestigious university, the goal of the university student is to get his doctorate and land a job that would ultimately lead him to the mile high club and the post of executive/director/president and what not. And mind you, this is only in the scholastic arena. One might argue that other aspects of society may differ from this trend but he begs to differ as the sportsman aims to achieve his world records, the business man his millions and his position on Forbes list of the wealthiest individuals and the parents, well in Singaporean context it's the ability to get a home 1 kilometre from the most prestigious school so that their child may join this established institution and reap the supposed rewards in the years to come. No doubt he sees the logic in all these, after all, would life be further enhanced and potentials stretched if such undertakings do not occur? Hence this result driven orientation of society is not totally unfounded and it can be seen why such ideals are embraced by many.

-You'll Get What You Give
It seems to him that in the mad rush for excellence as emphasized by modern society, many of the finer aspects of living are slowly being forgotten like ancient artifacts left underground in the depths of the earth. For example, when was the last time we observed work as a opportunity to develop new skills and gain new experiences in life, and not just another method of advancing one's career, leading the high life or increasing social prestige? The joys of living day to day have been forgotten and replaced by the pressures placed by an individual upon themselves (the author himself is guilty of this system and hence he shall attest that he has the right to comment on it). Hence, the author is very thankful to his mother to a large extent as she has allowed him to live an alternative lifestyle that contradicts that of some of his closest friends greatly. To his mother, the journey and the experiences gained along the way is much more important than the final product (as long as the choice of path is morally acceptable and the author is one day able to stand before God and attest that he has lived his life to the fullest and best of his abilities). Therefore, this has allowed the author to gain many new insights and see new things that cannot be replaced by any other and contributes to character development. Thus, living each day becomes rather enjoyable and each new problem encountered is not something that is a hindrance, but one to be embraced (yes he realizes that this doesn't always work and sometimes he conforms to the ways of the world, but he tries). Thus, life unfolds many new surprises due to this willingness to give all and expect nothing but whatever the journey provides.

-Further Thoughts
It is rather sad to observe how, due to the focus on the end result, society shuns those who are deemed to be less worthy of attention due to their inability to perform in scholastic aspects, when they have probably already given their all. Which is more worthy of respect to their fellow human beings? The high flying CEO (who has inherited family fortunes) giving 1% of his effort or the used goods collection man who (for his whole life) gives 100%, bearing in mind that both achieve the same result. While it is easy to proclaim at this juncture that of course we would respect the man who gives a 100% more than the former, our actions in real life speak otherwise and our judgmental glances usually weigh upon these individuals more heavily than we could ever imagine. Don't believe him, just take a random survey of how many people who would rather hang out with their well to do peers in the higher social circles than spend time talking to some less well to do neighbour.

-Verse for the Day
Ultimately, it is important to remember one thing, as seen in Luke 12:48 (To whom much is given, much is expected), what ultimately counts in the end times in not how much you achieved, but how much of your potential you have used. Thus, all he can say is, enjoy the process of living and gain new skills, then use it and further give your all, not looking at the end result as your ultimate goal, but the usage of your skills for the furtherance of God's kingdom as the focus.

If this post seems rather disjointed, do pardon the author as he is currently half asleep.

P.s, the author just thought of an analogy to describe this debate, using a twist to a very commonly used story to describe the females (sorry ladies). Two ladies took this elevator, and each elevator, there was a man, and as each level increased, the man got better and better in terms of looks and credibility. Now at the end of it all, the ladies faced a sign that said "this is the last level and it proves that woman can never be satisfied with man". Well, the woman who live by the first rule would have focused on the end result would have rushed through the various floors in an attempt to reach the ultimate alpha male, while the females who follow the second who have slowly enjoyed the experiences at each level, so guess who benefits more?

 Goodbye Gerald, though it's only been a few months since i known you, it still came as a shock to me when i learnt that it was you after all. It must have been a horrible way to go. My only hope that it was the least painful of all the things that could happen down under. Thank you for all the times you sent our gear over and made extra trips to change or pick up stuff. It was nice getting to know while it lasted. And yes i still remember how you cheekily drove at me and high beamed me at the Outram sec slope. It's sad that you didn't manage to do what you wanted, but that's life i guess. 

R.I.P Gerald Chia a.k.a the guy who always sends our dive gear

 They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, and so I shall not grow weary but rest in him as the hours tick by. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. 

 Okay add another person on the list of people who expect me to get all A1/7 points for my exams. Pressure pressure. And i just realized that for the second examination in a row, a public holiday falls within my examination period. 

Life is so coincidental, well to be more specific life in Singapore. A few days after realizing that i know one of Regs brother's friend, I am enlightened that Mei Shan, my sis and my cousin had the same dance instructor in the same dance centre. Life never fails to amuse you, and play the occasional amusing joke on you such as having the dive shop's residential cat excrete a massive pile of crap that is wet, fly infested and i don't know what else to say, just a few minutes before you close the shop. Not cool for sure. Life in the shop is mostly mundane, with time spent looking at the endless notes, talking to Reg, or having customers walk in all at once (somehow they just come together, i have no idea why).

So today marks my last day of studying before i lay myself before the wonderful daggers fly out of the papers placed before me. I can so feel the pain already. On a much brighter note, i shall persevere and not die. Thou shalt survive and enjoy the moments left this day. Prelims can kiss my...i mean er...can just disappear.

Preliminaries start in 3 days as time slowly ticks away once again. There's always this nagging doubt if you have done enough to do that much better this time but somehow you just can't get the mood at times. One has to realize that there is a really high expectation of you, you gotta pull yourself out from the pits and onto centre stage in order to justify the taxpayers money spent on your education the past four years of your life as well as meet the goals set forth by those around you.

The week has flown by and the cards are laid out once again. 3 major tests, 2 months, 1 chance. Somehow one wonders if that fighting spirit has died a little over the years after all the constant pressure and setbacks. Then again it's was the choices made somewhere up in that mass called a brain, and it would be your story to finish. Live life with no regrets, press on.

Faith, a really wonderful word indeed. You just need to believe and let him take control over this time. You push so hard at times you end up missing out on the brighter things in life. The past week has been really wonderful alright, just relearning whatever was once thought lost. We're not perfect, but i like it just the way it is.

Sometimes I feel bad for screwing up the lives of others around me. Yeah that bluntness and all can cut through people really quick alright. But it was never the intention...

This largely incoherent post is the result of random thoughts flowing through whatever is not used to process information on little molecules that make up the universe and the rise to power of various eccentric individuals.

[Taking my flight into the summer night, leaving the fears behind]